


and the silver lining seems so dim when it hurts

by rikotin



Series: Tumblr Prompt Collection | DRUCK (Matteo/David) [1]
Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Dealing with rejection, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV David, Supportive Boyfriend Matteo, Tumblr Prompt, University
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:21:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23159203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rikotin/pseuds/rikotin
Summary: David stared at the letter in his hand, reading it through once again, but there it stood, just a short few sentences. Nothing changed no matter how many times he’d read it, and he found himself feeling… Numb.Based on a tumblr prompt: "If you don't hug me right now I think I might fall apart."
Relationships: Matteo Florenzi/David (Druck)
Series: Tumblr Prompt Collection | DRUCK (Matteo/David) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1668328
Comments: 8
Kudos: 90





	and the silver lining seems so dim when it hurts

David sat on Matteo’s bed, on the same spot where he had finally opened the letter that had arrived the day before. He had postponed opening it on purpose: he had gathered up his things and rushed over to Matteo’s to spend the evening and night there, pointedly trying to think of anything and everything that wasn’t the letter burning in his pocket. Matteo had been quick enough to call him out on it, and David had promised to deal with it first thing in the morning. It hadn’t been as easy as it sounded, his nerves proving to be too much to actually open the goddamn thing right after he opened his eyes after a restless night, and he had ended up psyching himself up all morning. He had told himself over and over again, that whatever it was that the letter brought was something he could handle.  
  


A week ago, he had gotten a letter from another university that had informed him that they had rejected his application for the coming semester. It had been quite disappointing, of course, but he hadn’t had the best feeling about his application, so it had been no surprise to him that he hadn’t been accepted. On top of that, the school was located in a completely different city, and he wasn’t really feeling the long-distance relationship. He was also not going to force Matteo to move with him and abandon his mom and friends for David to reach for his dreams, not even after Matteo had been very emphatic in assureíng him that it would be no problem for him. David would have felt guilty anyway.  
  


It all must have had reflected in his application since he had ended up being turned down, but despite being a bit upset over it, the fact that he was still waiting for the results from  _ Die Filmuniversität Babelsberg _ – to which his application had turned out much better, so good he was actually proud of it – had calmed his mind a lot.  
  


That was the thing, though. He had worked so hard for that particular application to perfect it to his taste, and was so proud of the outcome, that despite the morning of psyching himself up and assuring himself that the rejection would not be that big of a deal, deep down he had known those were just empty words and that it would be absolutely devastating if that actually happened. Matteo had followed his pacing and even offered to reschedule his lunch with his mother, obviously anxious on David’s behalf, but David had managed to assure him that he was fine and that Matteo should go. That no matter what the result was, he could take it.  
  


Unfortunately, there was apparently nothing that could prepare you for excruciating disappointment.  
  


David stared at the letter in his hand, reading it through once again, but there it stood, just a short few sentences. Nothing changed no matter how many times he’d read it, and he found himself feeling… Numb.  
  


He had been rejected.  
  


Logically, he knew he was probably in shock. In some utter denial this was actually happening, wishing it was all a bad dream and that he would wake up from the nightmare any second now. Except that he was also fully aware that this was not a dream. In fact, he knew extremely well that it was now official: he would not be starting university anytime soon and he had absolutely no idea of what to do now. His plan had failed and he had nothing to land on.  
  


The door of the flatshare slam shut and some careful steps resounded in the hallway before the door behind him opened, closing just as quickly. He was facing the windows but knew well enough that no one but Matteo would come into the room without knocking anymore – not after some rather unfortunate timings for all of them – and soon enough the bed jostled with Matteo flopping behind him on the bed, placing his chin on David’s shoulder.  
  


“I texted you when I left the restaurant but you never read it,” Matteo said softly. The tone of his voice was not accusing or questioning: it was just a statement and David could hear the underlying worry clear as a bell and it made his stomach twist. He didn’t say anything nor did he turn to look at Matteo – he merely lifted his hand with a letter in it, offering it to Matteo. Matteo took it from his hand and paused for a moment, most likely to read it over, and then sighed deeply.  


  
“Well, this fucking sucks.”  
  


“No shit,” David let out a joyless laugh, and closed his eyes tightly. All of the sudden, the numbness was gone and the rejection hit him so violently it left him breathless for a second – like someone had kicked him in his gut and smashed his head against a brick wall all the while insulting his work and mocking him for being dumb enough to have any pride in his application whatsoever. He felt almost nauseous with the overwhelming defeat and disappointment that now filled his head, threatening his thoughts to overflow.  
  


“They don’t even know what they missed, you know,” Matteo continued straight away. “I mean, look how talented you are. Like, you’re  _ amazing _ and–“  
  


“No, actually, apparently all I’m worth is ‘Dear Mr. David Schreibner, we’re sorry to inform you that you have not been accepted’. So yeah, very fucking amazing, that is.”  
  


He knew it came out harsh and bitter, but couldn’t bring himself not to let his disappointment bleed through. He was feeling way too much hurt to actually do anything about it. Matteo sighed again and placed a careful hand on his thigh, not fazed by David’s outburst. His touch made David feel a little more grounded in the mess of his emotions.  
  


“I know it sounds cliché but you can always apply again next year,” Matteo offered quietly, voice full of compassion, but David had to shake his head as he swallowed, his throat feeling awfully tight all of a sudden.  
  


“It’s no use if I can’t apply to anywhere else. It’s so hard to get into these two,  _ DFFB _ requires the age of 21 so that’s a no go, there is no way I can afford  _ dBs. _ And I just don’t want to move and leave you behind, and I know you say you’d come with me but I’d feel terrible to drag you away from your friends and mom and  _ I don’t know what to do _ !”  
  


Every breath he managed to take was becoming more laboured, like he was not getting enough air for the words that kept on coming more and more rapidly. Matteo had moved around him at some point and was now kneeling down in front of the bed, squeezing David’s hands, and tried to softly hush him. David finally opened his eyes, everything a bit blurry from pressing them closed so tightly, but then he met Matteo’s bright eyes, ever so patient and warm, and an overwhelming and desperate need for comfort washed over him like ice cold water.  
  


“If you don’t hug me right now I think I might fall apart,” he whispered, struggling to get a full breath in again, and Matteo stood up immediately. He pulled him up onto his feet and enveloped him into a tight hug. David closed his eyes again and buried his face into the crook of Matteo’s neck, now breathing in deeply like Matteo was the one to let the air in, and the feeling of being safe overlayed the absolute despair still churning in his gut. Matteo brought his other hand up to the back of David’s head, gently pressing him closer and carding his fingers through David’s hair.  
  


“I’m here so you’ve got all the time in the world,” Matteo mumbled, echoing his own words from a long while ago, and pressing a kiss on top of David’s head.   
  


Matteo was right.   
  


David didn’t have a plan and he didn’t have anything to continue with, but he still had the people who loved him to help him deal with the downfall, and he had all the time in his hands to come up with a new plan after the one he had had failed so miserably. He still had Matteo, who was always right by his side, who never hesitated to call David out on his bullshit, but who was also always ready to reassure and comfort him the best he could. And now, if that wasn’t something special.  
  


David lifted his head a little and turned his face so his nose now brushed against Matteo’s cheek, soft under the touch. He sighed deeply, feeling just the slightest bit of the sadness that was crawling under his skin ease off.   
  


“I know I have. But I just– It still fucking sucks.”  
  


He felt Matteo squeezing him a little firmer against himself.  
  


“I know.”  
  


They stayed there for a moment, pressing their foreheads together. David let Matteo’s presence ground him – let it calm down the raging storm inside his head. He was still sad. He knew this was something that would eat at him for a long time, as losing was never something he was good at. But with the help of Matteo, it didn’t feel like the world was ending anymore.  
  


“I love you,” Matteo then said, voice low and with so much weight and warmth in the words it made David a little more emotional again. But this time, it was a good one – it was the kind that felt like there were not enough words to describe how lucky he actually was for having Matteo in his life. He really didn’t know how to convey the utter joy and gratefulness he felt for him, so the simple ones would have to do.  
  


“Thank you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! <3 All the kudos and comments are always dearly appreciated!
> 
> This little prompt was sent by mynameisnotthepoint on tumblr, from [this prompt list](https://wishiwasanavenger.tumblr.com/post/190047246564/prompt-list). 
> 
> My prompts are still open, so go ahead and drop some into [my ask box](rikotin.tumblr.com/ask) if there are some you'd definitely want to see! I write Davenzi, of course, but I've also been writing some Evak (SKAM) and Malec (Shadowhunters) so don't hesitate to drop another pair attached to your request :) I'll do my best to fullfil all the arriving prompts!
> 
> The biggest of hugs to my ever so wonderful proofreader [mynameisnotthepoint](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mynameisnotthepoint/pseuds/mynameisnotthepoint) <3


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